LAB RATS
by RohannaFalcon
Summary: Okay, so this is a story I did a really long while ago and it was sort of co-written by me and my friend Leanor? She can't work the site anymore, though, so for the sake of the updates I'm recreating the story on this account. Nobody delete it, please. Rated for language. Also it's shipping. DWI. She wrote the odds, I wrote the evens, up until now. I'm taking over completely.
1. Chapter 1

You hated him. The stupid freaking bastard. The flamboyant, seadwelling hipster. Your name is-

"My, my, if it isn't Sollux Captor!" To speak of the devil.

"What the hell could you pothibly want, Eridan?" you retort, mentally kicking yourself for your goddamn lisp.

"Oh, I just wwanted to knoww howw you're doin, Sol!" Eridan laughs, pulling you into a hug.

"Let go of me thith inthtant," you hiss, rigid under his arms. Eridan releases you.

"Lithen, Ampora," you say, pushing him towards a wall, "I hate you tho much, you're not even clathified ath my kithmethith anymore!"

Eridan merely laughs, "Wwell thats fine by me, my matesprit!"

Woah. That was too far. He went way too far. "You BITC-" you start, but suddenly something is pressed against your mouth. A whole freaking mouthful of Ampora. You sruggle, frantically pushing him away, your mouth clamped shut, but the damn guy wont give up! He drags his teeth down your lips, leaving fine trails of yellow dripping from your mouth. You try and step away, but using this as an advantage, Eridan turns you around, and pins YOU to the wall.

"Thtop, get the hell offa me, bathtard!" You try to say, but your voice cracks, and you just sound pathetic now.

"Havve I evver told you howw much I hate lowwbloods like you?" He smiles, one hand holding you down, the other running through your hair.

"Only every goddamn day," you snort.

"Wwell, Sol, wwhat wwould you do if i said you are an exception? Wouldn't you be elated?"

"No, tho jutht let me go and get back two doing... Whatever idiotth like you do."

"Oh, gee thanks, Sol. I thought wwe had somethin!" He pouts, a look of fake sorrow plastered on his fish face.

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, in your freaky fantathieth-" Suddenly, Eridan's on you again, his lips firmly on yours. Again, you freak, wondering why the hell he's so over-desperate today. His tongue rolls over the drying blood on your lips, and he wraps his arms around you tighter. You frown through his lips, and try again to push him back. He pulls away for a second.

"Aww, wwhats wwrong, Sol? Am I too good for you? You not ready for this amount of amazin-ness?" he smirks.

"Eridan, I hate you," you mumble, your voice shaking. It's pretty much the only thing you can say right now though; it's the only thing you're certain of right now.

"I lovve you too," he smiles. You open your mouth to protest, but goddamnit! Eridan takes this moment of opportunity to practically choke you with his tounge. Your face goes bright yellow, and you try and fight back, your teeth puncturing his lips and tongue. He doesn't seem to mind, in fact, he seems to be enjoying this! He makes a noise somewhat like a giggle, then pulls away to scratch behind your horns. Your eyes open wide, you twitch, then you start purring uncontrollably. The look of pure hatred on your face contrasts with the pleasure of your purring.

"My my, Sol, wwhat a pretty vvoice ya got there!" he grins, as he kisses your forehead.

"I thaid to get the hell offa me, bathtard," you complain weakly, though it's kind of pointless now.

"Wwhat, am I makin ya uncomfortable? Is this too much for poor little-"

Without realizing what you're doing, you pull Eridan into another kiss. Why the hell did you do that? Maybe you don't like to lose? Well, whatever the reason, you are now having an all out hate-snog contest with Eridan, glaring at him and yourself the whole time. Suddenly, the door opens, and a suprised Karkat blinks, frowns, and stares at you dumbly.

"WELL. I... I GUESS I'LL JUST LEAVE YOU TWO TO... DO THAT." he says in his ever-loud voice, and spins on his heel, exiting.

... You hate your life.


	2. Chapter 2

You hate him.

You honest to god wish he were dead.

You absolutely wish you could kill him.

All he ever does is whine about how hard his life is and how landdwellers are all stupid and how everybody should love him but nobody does.

God you hate him so much.

And if it wasn't enough, just earlier you rounded a corner to find him and Sollux practically trying to swallow each other's tongues. At this you backpedaled and ran off into the lab.

You knew they hated each other, but you kind of assumed Eridan hated you more than life itself.

Well, shit.

You are… Confused as hell. You honestly thought…. Wow, you can't believe how stupid you are. Were.

You hate him even more now.

You would throw him into the Green Sun if you could. Except that he deserves a longer, more painful death for the way he has tormented you your entire life. You lived in a hive on the shore, and he had free reign of the sea. Luckily, he never found out your blood color. The only troll who knows that, aside from you, is Terezi.

And now he just left you?

You bury your head in your hands and wish it wasn't your moirail who was kissing your prospective kismesis and apparently enjoying it.

You wish you had a decent moirail who actually cared about you.

You wish you had a moirail you could actually talk to about what you felt.

You extract your fingers from your hair, which you've been trying to rip out of your scalp, and run through your various options.

-Talk to Sollux. Hell no- besides, he's busy.

-Talk to Eridan. Same situation applies, plus he wouldn't get it, so there'd be no point.

-Talk to Terezi. No, she wouldn't take you seriously.

-Talk to Feferi. Maybe. She wouldn't spend the entire time mocking you, at least.

-Talk to Nepeta, shipper girl. A possibility, as long as she doesn't try to roleplay with you.

-Talk to Vriska. No. Just, no. You don't even know how that thought crossed your mind. You really hope she didn't put that thought there in your head.

Nobody else has any chance of being anywhere near helpful to your plight. Well, maybe a future you.

Wait, no, that's a really bad idea.

Fortunately, before you can pick the wrong person and screw everything up, Nepeta trolls you on your husktop. You take it out and check Trollian, then respond to her.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
AC: :33 *ac leaps up onto karkat's lap and pats his ear urgently*  
CG: NEPETA, THIS IS REALLY NOT THE TIME.  
AC: *beclaws she has an urgent message fur him!*  
CG: FINE  
CG: WHAT IS IT?  
CG: JUST HURRY UP SO I CAN GO BACK TO NOT TALKING.  
AC: :33 it's impurrtant!  
AC: :33 clawllux wants to talk to you  
CG: HE CAN USE TROLLIAN IF HE REALLY CARES.  
AC: :33 he wants to talk to you in purrson….  
CG: JEGUS FUCKING KRYST, FINE. TELL HIM TO USE TROLLIAN TO CONTACT ME AND SAY THAT.  
AC: :33 *ac nods, then leaps away, her tail waving as she trots over to clawllux*  
arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Huh. He wants to talk to you? It's gotta be about him stealing your kismesis and fucking up your perception of your life earlier.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
TA: kk  
TA: are you there?  
CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?  
TA: kk ii need to talk two you  
CG: FINE, WHERE?  
TA: where are you now?  
CG: SOMEWHERE IN THE LAB.  
TA: uuh  
TA: can you fiind that room by the lab  
CG: WITH THE BROKEN COMPUTERS?  
TA: ye2, that room  
CG: YEAH, OKAY, FINE.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

You stop talking to him and stand up.

You are going to kill him. You are going to yell at him and then kill him because you know you can do that and he'll still be okay.

It takes you a minute or so to get to the room stated, and he gets there a minute after you.

"OKAY, YOU…."

You attempt to yell at him, and instead, to your utter horror you break down and start crying. You see his differently colored eyes go wide behind those pointless glasses, and he stands there awkwardly for a moment before sitting on the table next to where you are and hugging you.

You sniff like a little bitch and kick yourself for being a pathetic little mutant moron and wow Sollux totally knows what your blood color is now god do you just have to keep showing everyone you freaking know?

"Uh, kk, are you okay?"

"NO, FUCKASS," you snarl. "I FUCKING HATE YOU. SHITTIEST MOIRAIL EVER."

He stares at you, somewhat hurt. You glare at him, furious, and still fucking crying why can't you stop doing that oh gog you are such a lame and pathetic and stupid little wiggler.

"Thiith iith about earliier, iithn't it?"

"YES."

He doesn't have anything to say to that. Well, this is awkward.

"Uh, iith there anythiing I can do?"

"YOU COULD , I DON'T KNOW, NOT STEAL MY FUCKING KISMESIS!" you practically shout, and regret it immediately. He looks kind of caught between confused, angry, and shocked. You guess he didn't know about….

"Kithmethith?"

"YES! HE'S BEEN TORMENTING ME MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. I HAD TO LIVE NEAR HIM FOR SIX GODDAMN SWEEPS WHILE HE SPENT THE ENTIRE TIME FUCKING SCREWING WITH MY HEAD AND LETTING ME KNOW WHAT A PATHETIC LITTLE NOOKSUCKING LANDDWELLER I WAS. AM."

He looks faintly shocked.


	3. Chapter 3

Your name is Sollux Captor, and right now, you feel like the worlds dumbest ass.

Your morail is currently yelling at you, bawling his eyes out, because you sort of stole his kismesis from him. You want to respond like a sane person; apologize, then gently explain your side of the story. Unfortunately for you, you have extreme bipolar issues, and tend to act on impulse.

"You don't know what happened!" you yell, making Karkat jump. "I'll have you know, I wanted nothing two do with the bathdard! The freak puthed me againtht the wall, and tharted making out with me! You don't know the half of what he'th done two me!" You feel tears sliding down your cheeks. Yeah, well, fine. What did it matter if you were going to cry?

"SOLLUX, CALM DO-" Karkat starts, frowning deeply, obviously having conflicting emotions right now.

"Dammit KK, I'm not going two calm down!" You yell, maybe a little too soon. "I can't take thith anymore! Did you know, he called me hith fucking MATETHPRIT? I told him I don't want anything two do with him, not even be hith kithmethith! And I'm thorry if I couldn't tell you two were kithmethith together, okay? I jutht couldn't take being tortured by him anymore, tho I fought back. Deal with it!"

Karkat stares at you, bites his lip, and shakes his head in anger. "WELL SORRY FOR MISSUNDERSTANDING," he yelled, voice laced with sarcasm. "SORRY- FOR- MISS-UND-ER-STAN-DING. I BET, I BET IT HAPPENS TO EEEEVERYONE. YKNOW, WALKING IN ON THEIR MORAIL AND KISMESIS HAVING A FUCKING SLOPPY MAKEOUT SESSION. PERFECTLY NORMAL!"

At this point, you regretted yelling. Hell, you regretted a lot of stuff you've done. Especially stuff you've done that unintentionaly hurts Karkat. "KK... lithen, I'm thorry I freaked out, but maybe you thould underthtand what went on before you yell-"

"GOG JEGUS DAMMIT, SOLLUX! I'M TIRED OF ALL YOUR BULLSHIT! Y'KNOW, MAYBE THIS WHOLE 'MORAIL' THING ISN'T WORKING OUT; WE ALWAYS MANAGE TO PISS EACHOTHER OFF WAY TOO OFTEN." he said the last part almost quietly.

You could practically feel your heart break. "Karkat..." You feel the tears coming again, and again, you don't try to hold them back. "Karkat I'm thorry... Pleathe don't do thith two me... How could I live without you?"

He rolls his eyes. "I DON'T KNOW, APPARENTLY PRETTY WELL."

You fall to the floor, rather pathetically, your head in your hands. You can't stop the tears now. Your sitting there like a fucking wimp, tears splashing on the floor. "Karkat... I can't make it without you... I theriouthly think I'd rather die and not come back than have you leave me... I know I'm the world'th thittietht morail- but I..." More words are waiting to be spoken, but they get caught in your throat. You start bawling like a wiggler.


	4. Chapter 4

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and right now your head is way too screwed up to make any sort of reasonable decision.

You try and do so, anyways.

Right now your 'moirail' is sitting on the ground, bawling his eyes out, in pretty much the same spot you were in a few seconds ago, engaged in the same activity. The worst part is, this entire argument you're now having is over a guy that neither of you actually like, at all. In fact, you both hate him.

Which is the problem.

Right now, you could try and comfort your moirail, or you could storm off and try and calm your own roiling feelings. He starts spilling his guts like he's in a fucking therapist's office.

And now he's pulling the pathetic act. He's done this before, but without so many... tears.

You angrily drag a sleeve across your own face, still furious with him. You literally cannot deal with this right now.

"JEGUS FUCKING GOG I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL," you mutter to yourself, and then turn and snap at the bawling mustardblood on the floor. "I CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW, SO GO AHEAD AND FUCKING CRY YOUR HEAD OFF IN THE CORNER. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT." You turn, storm out of the room, and once your out of sight of the corridor you break into a run and hit the first transportilizer you find.

It takes you to a random hallway. Fine, who cares.

You run along the hallway and find another transportalizer, which takes you to the top of a flight of stairs, which you proceed to fall down like a complete and total fucking idiot. Nice going, fuckass.

Once you pick yourself up, you wander down the hallway into a part of the lab which doesn't look that familiar to you. Huh.

Still furious, you sniff. You hate crying, you hate fucking Eridan, you have mixed weird feelings towards Sollux, but you kind of regret shouting at him now. Shit. He may have actually had some sincerity in those last few sentences he threw at you before you acted like a total toolbag and basically spat in his face. You've never actually seen him cry before.

Shit, what if he actually meant it?

What if he would actually commit suicide?

Nah, not Sollux, no way.

Well, he is pretty unstable.

You stop in midstep, and finally decide you need to turn around and go back and find him and make sure he doesn't do something retarded. You turn around and start back the way you came, then stop at an intersection in the hallway.

Was this here before?

Good job, fuckass, you're lost and your moirail just might lose it while you aren't there.

Oh, fuck, what was that noise?

You turn around at hearing a few footsteps and the slight noise of wind instrument. You think.

"HELLO?" you call, into the darkness in the hallways. Were they this dark before? You didn't notice.

Something laughs. You then realize it was a bicycle horn. It honks again.

"HA-HA, GAMZEE? VERY FUNNY. WHERE ARE YOU?"

Only laughter.

You run for it down what you think is the right hallway.


	5. Chapter 5

You are now the other guy.

You know, the idiot.

The dumb, bipolar idiot watching his hopefully-still-morail storm out of the room, stomp onto a tranportalizer, and leave you alone.  
You bite through your bottom lip, the blood mixing with your tears on the cold, hard floor. Shaking your head in anger and frusteration, you stand up. Not bothering to clean up your face or the floor, you slump out of the room, heading to your respiteblock. Bumping into trolls you can't seem to see through your blurred eyes. Upon reaching your destination, you slump on the floor in a corner, your head on your knees. Your body is shaking violently with painful, soundless, sobs.

"The fuck did thith have two happen two me...?!" You question weakly, and sniffle loudly. "What the fuck did I do two detherve thith kind of torture! I never liked Eri, not even in a black romanthe type of way! And now I'm lothing my morail.. I..." you try to continue your journey through spoken self-pity, but the tears stop your voice yet again, and all you can do now is cry, staining the floor with your tears. You can't remember the last time you've cried this much. You try and tell yourself, 'it'll be okay, we always get in fights! He'll get over it soon, right? Right?'

You try again to convince yourself... to no avail. This fight was much worse than all of your other fights. ALL OF THEM.

A sudden glint catches your eyes. It was the light reflecting off of one of your throwing stars. A psycotic, twitching grin spreads across your bloody, tear-stained face. You start near laughing, taking short, shallow breaths. Your common sense is replaced with the sound of buzzing bees. Crawling over to the pile of discarded stars, you grab one that looks... rather sharp. That twitching smile still spread across your face, you dig it into your finger. Hardly any pressure brings a drop of blood rolling down your pointer finger. You laugh. You bring the star to your chest, ready to drive it through, ending the confusion forever. Suddenly, a dull thud hits your head. You glare at the cause. A painfully familiar face stares at you in horror.

"F-Feferi?" you mumble, blinking your eyes a few times. There she is, her hand up to slap your head again. Which she does.

"Ow! Gog dammit, what the hell did I do?!" You grumble, rubbing your head.

"Sollux! Don't give me that! You know -EXACTLY what you were glubbing doing!" Feferi says, violet tears begining to slide down her cheeks.

"H-hey, don't cry, FF, really, what did I d..." You trail off, staring down at the throwing star in your hand. Had you tried to cull - wait, you mean kill - yourself..? "Oh gog..." you breathe, wondering what had driven you to do such a thing. Then you remember as your head clears.

"I said don't GIV-E me that!" She says, voice level rising. "Sollux! Please don't cull yourself! What would drive you to resort so such SHALLOW measures!?"

"I'd probably jutht come back, anyway..." You mumble, immediatly regretting it when her face scrunches up, in an 'I'm about to CRY' type of fashion.

"So-" she starts, but you cut her off.

"You don't know what happened either!" you yell, sure that everyone in at least a two mile radius could hear. "Why the fuck doeth everyone, EVERYONE, judge me, or yell at me, or blame me before they even know what the hell happened?! What did i do two detherve thith?!"

She stares at you in shock. Then, taking a sigh, kisses your forehead, then leaves you in peace. She makes sure to take any potential weapons away, though. Curling back up in your ball, you don't cry. You just sit there.


End file.
